From the outside, crystal use can seem hard to explain, frustrating, and contrary to all logic-especially when it's someone close to you who's using it. How long do you watch the harm being done before you step in? How can I help when I don't even understand what's going on?

Before you toss on your superhero cape, it may help to recognize two critical points about crystal addiction. First, no one ever thinks he will get addicted. The crossover line between casual party use and dependence is sneaky and hard to predict. Most guys stumble over it quite unexpectedly. Our society values will-power and self-reliance, and people generally think they can control their behaviors and manage the consequences. Try not to blame your friend for losing that control.

Second, crystal causes immediate and profound changes in the brain's dopamine and reward cycles. This results in powerful pleasure cravings. At the same time, crystal actually changes the way brain neurons process information for making decisions. His brain is now wired to choose big doses of pleasure at the expense of other options. This may explain why your friend keeps getting high or having risky sex even after he swears he won't. On crystal, his brain is working very differently. So until he stops using, his thoughts, actions and decisions may seem irrational and, quite frankly, just plain stupid. You may feel anxious about talking with a friend or partner about his crystal use. How will he react? Will he think I'm being nosy or intrusive? What if I push him away or he leaves me? These are common fears, but fears well worth facing when it comes to his health and your relationship. He might actually be waiting for you to say something, afraid to bring it up himself. The chance is worth taking.